This such an interesting conversation where Tim Ferriss interviewed Dr. Gabor Mate. They were discussing the various ways that we respond to challenging situations. Dr. Mate says that we don’t respond to what happens, we respond to our interpretation of what happens. Of all the possible interpretations, sometimes we decide to see the worst option. Why? Usually it is something that goes way back in our own history. We are not responding to what’s currently happening in the moment, we are responding to a past trauma. Something in us thinks that we are not worthy of love, respect, connection etc.
But, if we can reframe things, we can see the source is within ourselves. If we see the other guy as the problem, then we are the victim, but if we see that the problem is with ourselves, then we are empowered.
Tim said this idea reminded him of a quote that another guest Robert Rodriguez said, and I paraphrase – If you are the victim, then you are powerless, but keep in mind, that every time you are pointing a finger at someone else, there are three fingers pointing back at you. Here’s my visual.